2004-07-26 - 5:52 p.m.
Well today I am very tired, worked all day at my new job and my feet are sore from standing in heels for 8 hours straight. I feel like such an ass lately, it seems like I am always bitching about how shitty my life is, when really...it isn't shitty, its just boring. My parents are a pain in my ass, but then again, who's parents aren't? For the past few months I have been struggling in my head with the fact that it "sucks to be me", and I have had a huge case of the poor me's. Even though I feel this way, something everyday comes across my path just to show me how fortunate I am to have what I do have. But since its still less than what most people have, its hard to think positive. I have to realize there is more to life than a good job and money. I have one amazing friend that I just love to death and she reminds me of how lucky I am to be me. No one in my family remembered my birthday, it didn't bother me too much and then I stumble across a card in the mail and some homemade gifts from my friend and her daughter. These people have less then I, and yet they still send me a wonderful card which brightened up my awful day. I am so thankful to have such a kind friend and I made sure she knew that.
Its waking up pissed and while walking to work an infant says "hi" and a young man says "good morning" that makes you realize that you are still alive and that people still notice you. I need to have patience with this world, I know this. I have a lot to learn from others, all I have to do is be open to it one day, and see it. I'll try not to be mad anymore but I can't promise this,I am hoping I can pass this test because my hopes lie somewhere in my head and my heart, but my jumbled thoughts can only act as a barrier, time can only tell the story of what is about to happen and it makes me anxious to wake up to a new day, finally.
