2015-02-13 - 11:47 p.m.
Our little family has become so much smaller. We have to remember that we need to stick together and not judge one another. We need to love and support each other and guide each other through the stages of life. We need not continue to fight and bicker like we have been. We need not judge and control like it sometimes has been. We are all that each other has in this world. We need to keep open dialogue and continue to encourage each other to lead positive and fulfilling lives.
I will do my best to keep my anger at bay. Its hard to control when I feel like my life is spinning out of control. Anger is my go to because no one would comfort me if I were to cry. I need to get healthier. I have slipped back into some old habits and I think I recall being angry then as well. Cut out all the extras that I was able to get rid of then and I should be happier, healthier and lead a more productive and calmer existence. I will continue to pray for the strength to work hard at this. I will pray that I will have the strength to continue to do my best when life is at its most challenging moments; but I will be ever so mindful that I am also ONLY HUMAN. I will have setbacks (like the one I am experiencing now). I must always keep in mind that I am in control of ME and I CAN make these changes.
I miss you Grandma and I don't want you to see the person I have become. I promise I am better than what I have been exhibiting. I know my anger is a problem. I bet you didn't realize how frustrated I can get with myself. A constant battle..and now I fight anxiety; this is a whole new ballgame. I miss your reassuring words but I can imagine what you might have said to make it better. I will do my best to be better.
