2006-05-16 - 6:55 p.m.
So what exactly did I do to deserve this life I am living? Was I put on this planet to make everyone but myself happy? Well apparently so...cause whats ok for some people to do, is not ok for me to do. I would be talking about my parents. I am out of work and currently seeking a job that pays more than minimum wage so I can support my stupid parents which I have hated since the moment I realized that almost everyones parents are better than mine. I get bitched at today cause it has been exactly 6 business days since I quit my job and I do not have that fabulous job that is going to make everyone's life so much better....how dare I take this long?
I wish I could remind my dad his lazy ass doesn't work all winter long and I should remind my mom of last summer when she went months without even applying to work, and I had to get her hired by my own boss. Well we all know how that worked out didn't we? She got us both fired...how I love my stupid life. I often wonder if life is this much of a struggle, then whats the damn point?
So I am supposed to have this fabulous job, but for all my life they have "needed" any left over money that I have had (because they can't make enough money to support themselves) and I have had no money to put away for decent interview clothes. If I got a phone call tomorrow for an interview...what am I to wear? I would actually have to beg someone to lend me money in order to buy some clothes. This is insane....it should not have come to this point...if only my parents could have grown up sooner. I once told someone that I would have to marry someone that could support my parents....who would do that? I am screwed for life. Could you imagine me bringing someone home to meet my shitty parents? It is why to this day I have not brought a single soul home, whats the point? I cannot get away from this madness....and my journals make me so sad cause for once I want to write happy thoughts. I want to write about how I was able to buy something I wanted...how I could afford to go out with a friend just once. Well I guess I am wasting my time with this journal cause I probably could be looking for the fabulous job right now instead...bull! This is going to take some divine intervention.
