2004-08-17 - 1:37 a.m.
What the hell is going on in my life? I know I said I wouldn't bitch anymore and I would try to look at the positive aspect of things, but its impossible with my stupid little life. My mother decides she is going to quit her ok paying job because she hates her boss (oh boo hoo, I hate mine too)and I start to worry about how she is going to pay the bills since she has us in so much debt already, two credit cards, phone, cable, cell phones, car, hydro,gas etc etc. There are bills and she has no job, again I have to be the adult here.
Looking back at her career choices I have noticed a distinct pattern emerge.....everyone gets her a job and she has to put no effort into looking. Anyways, I am going to regress for a second. She hands in her resignation and I go off to work today and find out two people have quit and there is an opportunity for two full time managers right away. So I call my mom and tell her we will work on her resume. In the meantime I ask my boss what he thinks about hiring my mother and he is interested and tells me to ask her to drop off a resume. Wow, I pretty much have a job right now for her.
She gets home late from work but we had already agreed to work on the resume and get it in ASAP as he will take the 1st two candidates on the spot. She bitches that she doesn't know how to make a resume so I offer to make if for her. I tell her...all you have to do is tell me the company names and what you did (and I just asked for approximate dates) and she responds at least 30 times with a sighed "I don't know", so I get so pissed cause I have been so willing to help her get a job and she can't even help me make HER resume. I tell her that she couldn't possibly be this dumb and how could she not remember her life at all even though I wasn't asking for specifics. I told her outright that If this was the way she was going to act that I was afraid she would make me look like a fool.
So she refuses to help me write the resume and then when she looks at it she bitches cause it "looks small"...well...duh!! You kept answering "I don't know". So she gets pissed and storms off (which I knew she would do, this is highly predictable because she is lazy and resumes take effort and so does dropping them off before she has to work her shift at her old job). I just knew she would use any excuse not to do this, she wants to wait until the end of the week...please, the job will be taken (I told her this and begged her to help finish the resume). Well fuck you mom, you are playing the poor me's. Get your own job, I am tired of this shit. You make me look like the bad guy, but all I wanted to do is help and you act like an idiot. I don't have patience for this anymore. One day I will let my family read this diary so they can understand the insanity I endure, I can't stand it much longer I really can't. I often wonder why I got stuck with the family I did, its fucked. How I long to have a different family, one I can be proud of. I can't even look at my family without my anger beginning to build. I should see about moving out, this is beginning to corrupt me. I shouldn't feel this way, its not right. I should at least be happy one day a week. The only way I could do this was to live a life on my own, one which did not include my family (one like the life I lived in university). I need to escape, I need this to be possible, but at this point I know its not rational, I have bills and I take care of things.....unlike some other monsters I know.
