2019-07-08 - 10:00 p.m.
I now understand the love my grandmother had for me and how it came to be. She lost my grandfather and in close proximity I was born. She admitted to me that she felt that I was sent for her because she had lost her husband.
I didn’t take advantage of this love, I needed it. Even though sometimes she was far away from me, we never lost this connection. She understood me, wanted what was best for me and never judged me. She was my confidant and helped me through some of life’s most trying times.
We spent time together, had special trips together and she did her best to help keep me grounded when my life was anything but grounded. I was and will forever be eternally grateful for having her in my life. My grandmother provided stability, security, and sometimes even food for a hungry stomach. She introduced me to the arts and it’s the only thing these days that seems to calm my soul. In the darkest of hours I still look to her to help me through it. I fully believe she tries her best.
When my grandmother passed away, a few short years later I was blessed with becoming an aunt. My beautiful niece that shared her name would help heal a small portion of my broken heart. I adore and love my niece more than anything in this world. I fully understand how easy it was for my grandmother to feel the same way about me. It has taken all these years to understand why my grandmother would love me so much.
Reflecting on the past would usually end up in me ranting about the past. With regards to being loved by my grandmother in the past, this I feel positive I could talk about forever with a happy heart and a light soul. My niece could never replace my grandmother, but it has opened my heart up to healing and slowly the broken pieces are becoming a little more mended.
