2007-01-01 - 12:26 p.m.
Merry Christmas and Happy New year!! It has been an interesting and busy holiday season for me and my family this year. We had some family visit from florida and it was nice but it didn't feel like christmas to me. We had no snow this year which is kinda crazy to me. I miss the snow at christmas but since I hate driving in the snow, I hope it stays away. I hear a lot of people talking about global warming and I guess that no snow this year so far is a pretty good indication that global warming does indeed exist.
I came to a realization today....In 1 1/2 years I will be moving out of this home (I own it, but I am leaving it). When my sister visits from university (which she is right now for the holiday season)....I get treated like absoulute crap. My mother turns into someone I despise....like the mother I despised only a few months ago and the mother I was totaly disgusted with growing up. I wish my mom could grow up and I wouldn't have to worry so much. I wish I could go on with my life and not have to support my mom and dad and my sister. I can't give them anymore money...I haven't saved a penny since getting my career started and if I don't ever save I cannot get away from this madness. So...my sister will be home for good and finished university and I will not be able to live at home because I know I will go insane. I have spent much of my time in my room away from them, but as soon as my sister goes back...I will be needed for lifts here and more money there....boy how life just gets more exciting for me. The only thing I have going for me right now is my job....but the rest of my life is a mess. I still think I am blessed to have what I do....it was worse last year and the last 20 or so years of my life....so I feel like I shouldn't complain...but is this right? I guess I have to realize that I am not really treated better after my sister leaves...I just get some attention because I am the person that gives money, pays the bills, and chauffeurs people around. I guess it just makes me sad to know this....but this is my stupid little life and I guess it could be worse...but for now I plan to make a change...increase my self confidence, find someone to love, move out and don't look back....sounds like a decent plan....I just need to do it....wish me luck.
