2006-11-03 - 10:12 p.m.
I can't stop thinking about Florida and how I would like to be there right now. I miss the warm sun and the sandy beach and the villas full of great things to buy. I guess I just miss the relaxation part of it the most.
I started taking a yoga class. Its much different than what I am used to. I like to run, or dance or lift small weights. Yoga is so very soothing and is more for the soul I believe. I hated it the first time, but I think I need it for my soul. I need to relax because my job is very stressful and so is my life. I think I may stick with yoga...it couldn't hurt. I get to be outside my house for once and doing something I wouldn't normally be doing....socializing!!. So I hope it heals my soul and well as reduces my stress and I hope I can build a lasting frienship with the people I meet along the way.
I need to eat healthier and I think I will start doing that this coming week. I am starting to get worried about my health for real. I am slightly overweight, but I have the worst fat, and that is fat on the stomach. I think I need to look at it from a point of view that I am saving my organs from further damage (my poor liver). I need to get healthy. So hopefully by December my soul will start to heal and my body will shed a few pounds and then perhaps by the summer I will be a much improved individual. Right now I need the patience...in every aspect of my life. I just want things to happen so quick and I just need to slow down and let things happen and not let people get to me (like the prick that cuts me off in traffic!!).
The road rage in me has become overpowering. I need to stop it, one day I won't be able to control my car. The thing is, I don't go looking for and accident and I don't speed or cut off people or do stupid stunts that would get people injured. Instead, I allow people to do stupid things to me and come close to doing a lot of damage to my car and its occupants...if you cut me off, you better be moving fast because I am not slowing down. This is so wrong and I know it, and I am becoming better at slowing it down and allowing a prick to be a prick and knowing it has nothing to do with me and that I should not allow anyone to have that effect on me. If they have pissed me off then they have succeeded in ruining my day. So, it will take some time, but I have to not care about the other people on the road who do stupid things. I need to realize I am so much better than them and I am not willing to risk my life or the life of a family member just to prove some dumb point.
Anyways, relaxation and becoming healthy will be the key to my success in the coming months.
