2016-02-14 - 10:17 p.m.
I want to begin by saying that I didn't just come to this conclusion because it was Valentine's day. And now I begin.....
I feel like finding love that runs deep and changes a soul is a once and a lifetime deal. I was born deeply loved. My soul was changed the day I took my first breath. As I grew up I got to feel a deep connection with one person. I had a confidant and someone who would love me unconditionally. I was blessed. Not everyone has the chance to be loved and to love someone back just as much. I didn't have to work for love and affection, it was there from the beginning. I didn't have to prove myself and I didn't have to try hard. I was loved no matter what, and I loved back.
Our time wasn't going to be forever and I will always hate time for that. As I look to the future and wonder if I will ever find the same love again, I secretly know its not possible.
Moving forward I can only wish that someone will love me one third of the amount even. I want to have a deep love for someone and know that I will not be alone for the rest of my life. The person I loved the most is gone but I will never stop loving them.
I have spent the last few months wanting "this" so bad and it started to consume me. It was in my head while I worked, showered, watched tv and even while I tried to sleep. I have to let it go and maybe have a little faith that one day, it will go my way and a mutual love can be found. In the meantime I am forcing myself to take better care of myself. This has to happen!!
